Sunday, September 11, 2011

P.Chidambaram's Dictionary



P Chidambaram seems to be having a dictionary quite different from ours. Happened to peep into the same… What I saw there was….

Word/ Phrase
Meaning
Intelligence
A rare commodity
Actionable intelligence
Oxymoron
Bomb Blasts
Something which cannot be prevented.
Statistics
To be quoted extensively after every terror attack to prove that such attacks are quite are normal.
Peace
That which perpetually eludes the country
PWD’s job
To fix CCTV cameras
Police’s job
To arrest Anna Hazare under Sec 144
States’ Job (especially BJP ruled States’ Job)
To solve terrorism related cases.
My Job
To bug Pranab Mukherjee’s office
Incompetence
My birthright
Shamelessness
I acquired in Sonia School
Arrogance
To attain the highest level of this trait, I compete with Kapil Sibal. Manish Tiwari, an earlier contender has fallen flat. With Digvijay Singh’s Certificate of Arrogance in my armour, I am now leading.
Crime
Something to be legitimized or legalized so that we have crime-less society.
  • First I introduced Voluntary Disclosure of Income Scheme in 1997 where criminals were allowed to convert their black money into white at 1987 prices irrespective of whenever they acquired.
  • Second I popularized P-Notes. While the western countries were freezing bank accounts of terrorist organizations, I allowed them investment opportunity in India. Now they can finance terror attacks with income earned in India-Swadeshi finance for bomb blasts!
  • Third, I advised A Raja that sale of stake is not sale of spectrum so that he could achieve the biggest ever Rs. 1.76 cr scam.

Elections
To be won with the help of data entry operators of Election Commission after you are declared defeated!
India’s Budget
An annual lie. (I demonstrated this during my tenure as Finance Minister.)
Budget Speech of the Finance Minister
Need not have any relation to the Budget Document.
Arun Jaitely
Salaa…how I wish I can beat him in any one issue he takes up!
Top 3 News Channels
NDTV, NDTV and NDTV
My lady luck
Naxal Terror
Appears to be a familiar phrase.
Color Codes: Black
Money
White
Only dress
Green
Peace
Saffron
Terror

23 comments:

  1. some synonyms are agreeable but some are very much unjustifiable,how can u call mr.chidambaram incompetent?if you are blaming him for the obvious reason of not thwarting recent dehli attacks then u should reconsider ur comment.Its India's proximity to terror ridden states and not to forget the homegrown groups which makes it vulnerable to such attacks.Upgrading security system to protect a billion people using limited resources is a slow process and cannot be done in a snap.It is the prerogative of PWD to install the basic machinery without creating a ruckus.More so ever do u expect the home minister of India to check whether cctv's have been installed in each and every street?.

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  2. Pity our ministers have been reduced to give such unjustifiable reasons for the crimes committed. One of the most admired,not even PC can be forgiven.

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  3. totally liked the way you put down the facts :) :)

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  4. Thanks Veeraj for views. By calling incompetence as his birthright, I am not basing my opinion on the recent events. As Finance Minister, his budgets were the most unreliable-remember huge waiver of farm loans, pay commission recommendations, etc were not provided for; he claimed credit for the same power projects in two different periods;tall talks in budget speech but no provision in the budget. Even as Home Minsiter, most of the cases have not been resolved. Fixing CCTV may not be his job. But when this was pointed out in Zaveri Bazaar Blast in Jul and after this was emphasized after May 25 blast in Delhi, I feel he is supposed to ensure that this is done. He cannot be a mute spectator to the dithering, if any of PWD. Please read today's article in The Sunday Standard.
    Thanks Swetha- There were lot expectations from PC. Unfortunately he has not been able to meet them.
    Thanks SuKupedia. I am glad you liked the presentation.

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  5. You did it again.. nice post!

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  6. I used to admire this guy so much till few years back. Now... I regret!

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  7. ah, i have given up on politics but reading your posts are fun :)

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  8. hard hitting creativity! hope P.C finds some time to read this peice.

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  9. I just love the JOB section...Lol

    By the way, here is my IndiVine post. Check it and if you like it then please Promote it too there on IndiVine.

    http://www.indiblogger.in/indipost.php?post=72607

    Thanks :)

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  10. Great one, Hari...:)The disconnect between this Govt. and people is unbelievable....

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  11. gr8....no words to xplain... hw much elated i m to see this post...each & every word is true to the best....
    i m going to come back....definitely following you...

    http://ideas-forum.blogspot.com

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  12. Nice to read, Still I wouldn't call him completely incompetent. He can be much better, but is not that bad. But, leaving politics aside, I liked this post :). Sad truth though, some of them.

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  13. ha ha :P lol... Yet again, great post sir :)

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  14. lol..
    I agree with you about that NDTV, NDTV & NDTV.

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  15. once again interesting take sir. Bang on. Less words but great insights. Qualities of a True satire. I think most of the people are ready to give clean chit to Chindu considering his crimes and incompetencies are a recent phenomena, but after having spoke with people who hail from his area, one can conclude that he is almost in lines with Sharad Pawar, never convicted !! His education has rescued him always.

    ----
    www.nitinjain.blogspot.com

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  16. Lovely :) I enjoyed it completely!

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  17. Thanks. You are welcome to share this in your FB.

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