Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Secret CV of Kapil Sibal

Kapil Sibal is undoubtedly the blue eyed boy (?).The fact that he handles (?) so many ministries shows the trust that both Sonia and Manmohan have in him. However I feel that his full potential is not being exploited. Are Sonia and Manmohan underestimating Kapil or are they genuinely ignorant of his capabilities? Either case, it is my duty to enlighten them about Kapil’s capabilities. I have managed to lay my hands on Kapil’s CV. I am presenting the same for the benefit of Sonia and Manmohan:
                                                                 
Name
Kapil Denial Sibal
Address for official purposes
19, Teen Murti Marg, New Delhi
Address for practical purposes
C/O. NDTV, New Delhi
Educational Qualification
·     LLM from Harvard School
·     Specialized in Law of Denial from Sonia School of Suppression
·     Doctorate in Applied Mathematics of Equating the Unequal

Current Position
·     Enviable
·     Minister for Science and Technology
·     Minister for Human Resources Development (after Arjun Singh was removed)
·     Minister for Telecommunication (after A Raja was removed)

Looking forward to
·     Corruption by other Ministers so that he can occupy their position
·     A barber who specializes in cutting eyebrows.

Normal Achievements
·     As HRD Minister, damaged the CBSE beyond repair. Special features of this damage are-
o    Do Class- X students write exams? Well, they can, if they want to; they don’t need to, if they don’t want to; they have to, if they want admission in other schools for Class-XI.
o    Do they get marks? No, they get grades. 91 is equal 98 is equal to Grade A! (Equating inequalities!)
·     As Communications Minister,
o    he proved that Rs. 1.76 lakh cr.= Zero.
o    in the same breath he also proved that Rs. 655 cr. = Rs. 5 cr.

Unique Achievements
·     Never handled Law Ministry, the subject in which he did his Masters.

Hobbies
·     Receiving Babas in the Airport.
·     Tricking them to write unsigned notes in closed rooms.
·     Diluting Lokpal Bill thinner than water and air.
·     “Brow”beating!

References
·     A Raja, C/O Tihar Jail, Delhi
·     Suresh Kalmadi, C/O Tihar Jail, Delhi

Strengths
·     Ability to be consistently incorrigible.
·     Absolute shamelessness.

Hates
·     Obviously, truth.
Worried about
·     Competition from Jayanti Natarajan, Digvijay Singh and Manish Tiwari in shamelessness.

44 comments:

  1. Wonderfully done! absolutely correct. Do you really think they don't know his true worth? Don't his importance and portfolios speak for themselves? LOL C/0 NDTV :DD

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  2. I did'nt know that.. :) still laughing on his "Looking forward to"..! But jokes apart.. this is a serious issue..

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  3. I am glad you are all impressed with Kapil's CV. But a word of caution; don't be so impressed as to offer him a job! Woh Congress ka haq hai; aap log cheen nahi sakte ho!

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  4. Very well done.. C/o ND TV was the best :P he he.. On serious note, it is really unfortunate to our nation!!

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  5. Sir this is seriously good written.. especially the doctorates and references...!

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  6. Well presented. I would say he is transparent too - His body language reflects what he is trying to achieve.

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  7. Could it more Sardonic!
    Great read! :)

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  8. CONGRATULATIONS! You've won an Award!!

    check out the link
    http://sujathasathya.blogspot.com

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  9. Well done :) Love the Sonia School of Suppression.....that place has many branches worldwide....!

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  10. First time on your blog and I am just loving it!!! Still laughing about the requirement of a "barber who can cut eyebrows"!!! Seriously Kapil is over estimated by all in the congress. He is very television savvy and for some people that is enough qualification I guess.

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  11. Senseless comments, don't support this type of kidding while dealing with serious sensational issues. It is just like Ramdev's rubbish activities which seriously affected civil society's credibility.

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  12. I am rolling on the floor and laughing.

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  13. I would like to thank all of you for the overwhelming response. I am very happy you liked his CV.

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  14. Abysmally wonderful !! Was blog hopping and slipped onto your turf to discover this post.I wish you would subject more of our ignoble leaders to such gaff.

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  15. Well, Mr.Valady
    I just want to mention a small joke.

    " Manmohan Singh's new book : 3 Mistakes of my Life.
    1. 3G
    2. CWG
    3. Sonia Ji "

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  16. Looking forward to CV of P.Chindabaram and Mayawati :)

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  17. Nice CV,

    I am eagerly waiting for cv of Sonia Gandhi.

    Gowardhan
    http://nothinggserious.blogspot.com

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  18. good poignant piece... Sad fact it that Education minister is spending valuable time to save his party face, than to focuss Education, a area with highest priority.

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  19. hahahaaa.. very good post and I enjoyed reading it (on a lighter side) :-)

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  20. Very well jotted down, funny but very true ... :-)

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  21. Hahaha!
    You should do something like this for the popular Anna Hazare! :P


    Please read & promote-

    The Tablet Revolutionary

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  22. Hahahaha... Absolutely a true CV...

    http://loveisaspiritualforce.blogspot.com/

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  23. Excellent post. However, we cannot deny his knowledge in law.

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  24. what a CV...... truth is pouring from each word and every sentences.....

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  25. I thank every one. This post has received overwhelming response.

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  26. A very powerful CV indeed....KS will soon be unemployed and may need it..:)

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  27. Very good CV, that is why he holds so important post in our "Mera Bharat Mahaan"

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  28. I just loved the Unique Achievements...Really a funny one

    By the way, here is my IndiVine post. Check it and if you like it then please Promote it too there on IndiVine.

    http://www.indiblogger.in/indipost.php?post=72607

    Thanks :)

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  29. Good one. This guy looks smarter when he keeps quiet.

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  30. Thanks a ton for sharing this with me! awesome!
    Sample cv

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  31. Wow. Now I know why Kapil Sibal was talking about internet censoring. Absolutely hilarious!!

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  32. Nice one... He looks good when he keep his mouth shut :)

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    Replies
    1. Fortunately for us he is keeping quite these days. Or perhaps events have overtaken him.

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  33. V good Sir, I appreciate you for making this CV. Keep going.

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