Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Career advice from Anna for youngsters

(A group of 4 students meets Anna to seek his advice on what career they should pursue. Let’s listen to the conversation, imaginary of course.)

Student 1: Anna, we know you have a vision for India. Please let us know our role- the role of youngsters, students- in your vision….

Anna: Bachcho ….you should concentrate on your studies…well educated youth only can realize the vision I have for India.

Student 1: Exactly Anna…that’s where we need your guidance…please let us know the profession we should choose…the career we should pursue….

Anna: My first priority would be law…you should pursue a career in law. You’ll have lot of opportunities in new India…

Student 1: How is that, Anna?

Anna: Because the legal framework of the country will be undergoing a paradigm shift…pucho kaise…so far we Indians have been believing law by itself cannot curb violations, crimes, etc….now that’s changing…you need only a Lokpal Bill. All corruption will be wiped out. Paradigm shift, no?

Student 1: But how will that increase our job opportunities….?

Anna: One, many Lokpals and Lok Ayuktas will be appointed- that means job opportunities for you guys…. Two, we need lawyers to prosecute offenders….

Student 1: Yes…also you need lawyers to defend the suspects before the Lokpals and….

Anna: No…no…you’re still in the old school of legal thought. There is no concept of defence or suspect… nor is there any concept of innocent till proved guilty. Another paradigm shift! The Lokpal or Lok Ayukta decides that someone is corrupt, say in a mining scam. He conducts a Press Conference and delivers his judgment. No need to give the accused a chance to defend.

Student 2: Sir, what further opportunities exist for this new breed of lawyers?

Anna: Just as the banking software from India is unique and the Western world has grabbed it, the new legal system of the country is going to be unique. We can patent it and export to other countries. Just as IT professionals, you will get jobs abroad to practice this unique law.

Stuent 2: Can you explain further this unique law, Anna?
Anna: For example the law of evidence will undergo a massive change. Perception is the most important form of evidence- more important than eyewitnesses, documentary evidence or circumstantial evidence. Legislators are perceived to be criminals and looters. Hence they are criminals and looters.

Studen 2: ……………………….

Anna: Similarly the system of punishment…. Let me give two examples. If someone slaps a Minister perceived to be corrupt, the law will mandate him to slap on the other cheek as well….who said we are soft on Hindus and BJP? This ‘other cheek’ law will be liked by Christians… Similarly you can tie the offenders to lamp posts and public can flog them …Now that presents a great export opportunity to a hitherto-unexplored territory. Indian Banking software has found acceptance in the Christian led Western countries. Now we will get clients for the new law from the Muslim led Middle East as well……

Student 2: Anna….but these changes……

Anna: Not just these changes…..right to fast will be a fundamental right. Does any country in the world provide for this right? Rashtrapati Bhawan and Governor Bungalows in the State capitals will be converted into Fasting Centres.

Student 3 (who had been patiently listening to the discussion so far but was not convinced): Sir….is there any other profession you would suggest that we pursue….

Anna: My next choice is.…..police.

Student 3 (happy with the choice…): We get a chance to curb crimes, maintain law & order….

Anna: No…no…that the existing police force will do…you will file FIRs against Ministers and legislators. Under the new legal framework as soon as a person is elected to the legislative assembly or parliament an FIR will be filed against him….

Student 3 (unable to understand): For what crime, sir?

Anna: That can be decided later. But FIR has to be filed first. These called “Presumptive FIRS”- again a new concept.

Student 4 (not satisfied with the discussion so far): Can you suggest some other career for us, Anna?

Anna: Definitely…politics.

Student 4: Politics? I thought you are against politics and politicians.

Anna: Yes…I am against current politics and politics but not against future system of politics.

Student 4: What change are you contemplating in the political system?

Anna: There will be elections every day in some constituency or other….For example if we make a demand and the concerned Minister does not agree to the same, there will be election in his constituency the next day….election a day, makes the politician’s day…

Student 4: Sir ….but……..

Anna: But let me explain the most important change in the political system that our team will bring about.  Currently a mass leader like Sonia Gandhi makes a puppet like Manmohan Singh the Prime Minsiter and controls him. Lallu Prasad Yadav made his wife Rabri Devi the Chief Minister. In the new system puppets likes Arvind Kejriwal and Kiran Bedi will control mass leaders like me. So that presents an opportunity for you guys…you can become the powerful puppets…

Students 1 to 4: …………………………..????!!!!!!


  1. LOL... Looks like Anna thinks it's time to turn the tables.

    The politicians commit sins without worrying about the impact on common man. Now, Anna thinks Lokpal will go about punishing politicians without giving 2 hoots to whether they are innocent or not... :D

    Looks like that's his idea of balance and payback ;)

  2. Lawyers spend half their professional lives supporting and defending criminals (statistically at least). Policing is the result of a society that cannot trust itself or act in accordance with its own moral code. Both are reflections of the failure of our civilization to live up the name "civilization." Anna and all who are sick of the mess we are in should seriously devote their time and energy to build a generation of grounded, secure, loving, and contented youth. The kids are the only hope we have... Enjoyed the wit in the post.

  3. Hahaha... enjoyed the post immensely !!!

  4. Very witty post...the problem, however, is that our society seems geared to arguing exclusively in extremes. So, Anna Hazare has taken one extreme view (as you very rightly point out). Is yours the other extreme?:):)

    1. Just to add humour, I have taken it to the extreme. Otherwise it would have been too sober.

  5. well, I'm a lawyer myself so I was quite amused. Good one!

    1. Thanks. Glad that I get positive feedback from a lawyer!

  6. Quiet an art to create sober humor to even out both the sides :)

    1. Thanks Nitin. Glad you liked the writing.

  7. well well welll ..
    Anna ji will bring about a change is what i hear a lot but .. I say BUT..


    1. It is the 'BUT" that bothers me as well....

  8. Despite his whims Annaji has brought this devil of corruption into the fore...he has been able to rouse the right-thinking people...it's a beginning.

    1. Agreed. But a couple of things bother me and that is why wrote this post- wholesale denouncing of legislators, reluctance to accept faulty procedures followed by Santosh Hegde as Lokaukta...

  9. I believe that the whole issue boils down to just one thing that is ' Sense of Pride for being an Indian'. We collectively lack this.Hence, our personal choices and requirements stand in the way.
    How many of German or Japanese Politicians hold the office still after being rightly instigated as Corrupt rulers. I don't think many. Where as in India, its the other way round,people take pride in staying in the office and continue do the Crap they are good at.

    Current economic trends are going to make things worse.
    Nevertheless an endless debate. I believe Anna is better of at Raley Gaon Siddhi. He can atleast set some examples from there for us to follow.

  10. It was an interesting read. Nice to know i'm not alone in my criticism for Anna and his methods.